Coffee talk time ☕
✨This
SundayX I'm speaking from the heart and the hip. ✨
With the holiday get togethers in our view, it's a time of excitement and celebration for many.
We also know this isn't the case for many more.
Growing up, I was raised by a single mother and our holiday traditions revolved around her parents (my grandparents).
We didn't ever experience drama and family infighting darkening our door during the holidays or year-round for that matter.
We were a pretty solid bunch and stuck together.
I took for granted that this is the way it was for everyone else. When that's all you've known as a child it's an easy assumption to make.
Unfortunately, I've learned it was not and is not like that for everyone.
Presently, I could go on and cite a litany of personal examples I've experienced, but I won't.
Water under the bridge as far as I'm concerned.
(Mind you, water under the bridge does not equal an open invitation for repeat behavior. Not in my house.)
As you come together and perhaps feel stressed about the event, deep breaths are helpful.
It's also helpful to remember we each have our own perspectives.
It's easy for people to firmly believe their angle must be right and everyone else's is wrong.
We know, as the one being railed on, this may not be the reality of the situation.
Their perspective, while true in their mind doesn't mean it's true at all— not for you, not for me, but they firmly believe it is. Nothing we can do about it either, except give a little grace.
You can tell if they are receptive to the other side of the story or not and there's no point in trying if they are not. Unless you want to argue which I do not, it's poor use of my time which is valuable to me.
However, their outlook may be partially true just lacking context from points of view they may have failed or refuse to consider.
Being brutally honest here, in my younger years and immaturity I'm certain I played the part of the adamant one believing my stance was the gospel and everyone else was wrong. Didn't we all?
I've grown and personally developed far beyond this way of being and I'm humbled and grateful for the progress.
To help buffer the emotional rollercoaster (when you don't even like rollercoasters) it's important to understand boundaries— yours and theirs.
There's no need in being rude defining your boundaries to others, likewise definitely don't take it personally when others define theirs to you.
It is what it is & it's all ok.
It's hard not to take it personally, but comprehending how we appreciate our boundaries respected just like any other person does helps and definitely brings things into clearer focus.
A wise man I love with all my heart once told me, "When people show you where you do or do not fit in their lives, believe them. Don't be offended, honor it."
And I do.
Perspectives, opinions, and thoughts abound everywhere and every human has their own.
(I exercised a ton of self-restraint not using the old stand by saying we all know on this topic. 😂)
We all have them.
(I'll show myself out 😂)
Do you consider your point of view as the ultimate truth?
Do you consider you can learn about yourself and the world around you by at least trying to understand the perspective of others?
Looking through their lens doesn't mean you have to discard yours but it can give you a better picture of the situation.
Let's give some grace where we can, but don't be door mats either.
May we seek to be more understanding of
different vantage points from our own especially around the holiday table and give peace a chance.
✨✨✨
(Words mine, image courtesy of Grok.)
I've written a couple of stories about my childhood growing up in the 70s in Oklahoma. Both have been featured on SundayX.
Grace! Grace! Give as much grace as you can to those around you and to yourself too. ✨
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