Will We Always Struggle?

Will we always struggle with forgiving ourselves more than others?

Maybe this is the crux of life— perpetual prep for a final exam?

What kind of humans will we be? 

We grow and get better growing through it all...don't we?

What determines a weed or a flower?

Neither hides from the morning sun...

Both produce fragrant and elegant blooms!

Our intention and energy determines what we grow into,

But who is to say I am a weed or a flower if they are not tending my garden?

Should they not focus on tending their own?

They should, and would be better for it themselves, but...

Forgiveness is instant, it's true 

But it's not a feeling manifest instantly...

Oh those pesky feelings, uninvited guest passing through, 

Don't let them be squatters in your head or heart, we will push through. 

Together. 

✨✨✨

We all have knots to be undone and this is often times delicate work. 

Humility and vulnerability aides the process,

Sheltered with prayer and meditation. 

Dear Lord, I try though I'm not always successful. 

 

The only way to win the war with ourselves is to let Peace in, cultivate it and guard it like a pearl of great price. 

✨✨✨ 

When you get down on yourself and those pesky negative emotions show up, acknowledge them passing through and remind them that's not where you live anymore. 

Engage in creativity. 

Give yourself room to create and grow. 

This is healing energy flowing through you, for you, and to the world. 

This increases peace within. 

This is Grace. 

✨✨✨

I missed you guys and being present on my favorite platform, X. (My social home.)

If you're still following me, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I withdrew for a time to deeply listen to what's going on in the world. 

Nothing has been wrong with me personally, other than being deeply troubled by current events of our countries vulnerable being put in an even more vulnerable position by those holding offices. 

This really happened. 

It gave me a great pause. 

I evaluated my own life and how I live and provide for myself, so I've been in a time of deep learning and research, speaking life to my green thumb as I prepare to dive back into gardening. Plants that grow well together. What can grow as a permaculture planting etc. 

Re-learning about food preservation, grateful for knowledge my grandparents showed me by doing and instructing me how to do the same when I was young and for every last green bean I snapped with them on the porch. I miss those days. 

I'm not prepping or stocking up for a cataclysm (not ruled out though, fingers crossed we can all avoid that ✨🤞🏼🤞🏼✨).

Instead I'm thinking maybe this is the new normal? 

A return to slow living ways like our grandparents and great grandparents? 

The more I can do for myself the better. 

In our house we have pulled far away from processed foods and fast food but the constant food recalls have definitely fueled and supported this decision.

I spent most of the last 10 years as a caregiver, first to my FIL with dementia and then to my Mother in her final days. 

I tried to garden when my fil was with us because I thought it would be good for him too and he helped by pulling up live plants we were trying to grow. So I just went along with it because he felt he was helping and I could tell it made him feel better "helping".

There just wasn't anytime to garden during my Mother's decline, her diagnosis were so acute & complex. My focus was simply being there for her as much as possible and meeting every need. I wasn't always able to successfully meet all her needs and I'll always feel the pain of falling short in such a pivotal time for her. 

Maybe forgiving ourselves is a cross we all carry? 

To sum up my SundayX offering—

Don't be so hard on yourself. 

You're human too. 

Grow Victory gardens. 

Pray for my green thumb ✨🙏🏼✨

(My thanks to Grok for creating a beautiful complimentary image. It's been awhile since I've used Grok and it's obvious he's had some phenomenal updates.)

© November 16, 2025 | baccusbee 

If you enjoyed my bit of poetry in this SundayX, you can read more of it here.